Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: You are listening to episode number 267 of Better Blood Sugars with Delane, Md.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: Welcome to Better Blood Sugars with Delane MD, where you can learn strategies to lower your blood sugars and improve your overall health. I am your host, Doctor Delane Vaughn. Ladies, if you know you're capable of doing badass things at work and for your family, but you're confused and frustrated with why you can't seem to stop eating the chocolate cake, this podcast is for you. Let's talk.
[00:00:27] Speaker A: Hey there, and welcome to the podcast. If you're watching on YouTube, I'm messing with my hair. It is wild hair Wednesday. It's actually a Saturday. It's Saturday evening, and I'm recording this kind of late. You can hear, I assume you can hear. My voice sounds unwell. I have not picked up a 40 year smoking history. I was sick last week and I felt fine most of this week. I don't know. I've been waking up with a headache every morning, and my voice has not been right. So I'm a little under the weather, so bear with me. I'm sorry if I sound horrible right now. I feel okay. I don't feel great, but I don't feel as bad as I sound. And I'm just noticing that my hair is kind of matching my voice. It's just everything's out of control. So bear with me through this podcast. I am so happy you're here with me today. I'm happy you're taking some time for you. I'm grateful that you are choosing to spend it with me. I feel honored for that. Today we are going to talk about thoughts.
We're going to talk about the thought model, which I've discussed this frequently in the podcast. This is one of the primary tools that I use in coaching. But I want to talk about our thoughts, because our thoughts are really the source of all of our results that we get in the world, of everything that we get, whether we're changing something about our life, our thoughts are the source of that change. If we're obtaining a degree, our thoughts about that are the source of that. If we're, you know, having a successful relationship with a partner, our thoughts are the source of that. So the thoughts are the source of all the results that we get in the world.
If you are like I was and really struggling to reclaim your health, I mean, for me, I was at a crossroads trying to figure out how to make changes that resulted in better health. Like you, I knew what to do. I just couldn't seem to do it. If you feel like you need to live in a world where there's no chocolate, you need to move somewhere where there's no chocolate, if you feel like you need to move to an island where there's no pizza, no burger, no fries, if you're ready to just have your jaw wired shut, if any of these thoughts have come out of your brain, out of your mind, this is what you're like. This is the only thing I know to do. I've tried everything else, and I can't seem to implement something that gets me what I want. Thoughts are at the heart of the issue here. If these thoughts have been going through your head, if this is how you're feeling.
Many, many women, after working with me for the first three to four months, they consistently say to me, they come to me and they're like, I know what to do. You have taught me what to do, but I don't seem to do it. There's something wrong with my thoughts. That's what they say. And of course, by this time, I've like, well, why do we think that? I have worked with them and walked them through some of these thought issues, that things that I am seeing, that, like, these are thoughts and they are optional and they are serving you, so do we want to do something different? I've walked them through that, but they are finally starting, after three or four months, to be like, oh, God, I think maybe it is my thoughts. And then, of course, I let them in on the secret. I tell them that the secret, the top secret information, I'm going to share it with you now. It's always our thoughts. It's always the things that we are thinking, because thoughts create every result that we get in the world, always.
So the thing about our brains, the human brain and our thoughts, human thoughts, is that we really believe what our brain tells us.
We believe the thoughts that our brain tells us, and we believe that they're true. We believe that they're always true. I would say 80% of the time, we're totally buying into the thought that our brain is telling us.
And this is the case even when it's not true. And so I always use the example. I talk with my kids about this all the time when they're like, 16 year olds will float through the world and they'll be like, oh, my gosh, this is so unfair. I can't believe it's like this. Or it should be. They'll be like, it should be like this. And of course, in my brain, I'm like, we've got 16 years of experience. I've got 49 years of experience, and I don't think I know how everything should be, you know, but I always point out to them when they're having a thought and they really, really believe it.
I point out to them that we are one of 8 billion humans on this planet.
This one thing that we believe is a truth, is unlikely to be a truth for every human in the world, right? We believe it is the human experience.
The fact it's a human experience, like, it's one of many possible human experiences. Our brains tell us they think that the experience that we're having, this one out of 8 billion humans experiences in the world, we believe that it's the human experience, that it's the only human experience.
And so I want you to see, like, it's not that we're self centered. It's not that we're broken. It's not that, you know, there's something broken about our brain.
I'm not broken. You're not broken. The person on the other side of the world who is living a totally different life than we are, they also believe that theirs is the human experience. None of us are broken. And, in fact, intellectually, most of us realize that this experience that we're having, intellectually, we see that there are other experiences all over the world that are happening and that this is truly not the only human experience. And we know that intellectually, but the way that we feel, these experiences that we have in the world, they. The way that we feel about them really is, like, our feelings that drive our actions are such that this is the only experience of the world.
So these actions that we have are based on these one out of 8 billion human experiences. Okay? And this is just how our brain works. No one's selfish. No one's broken. We're simply perceiving the world through a machine. That's our brain, and it's the same machine that all the other humans have. And the way that our brain works is simply that it tells us that what it believes, what it thinks, what it perceives, the way it interprets what's going on, is truth is real. It's the only option out there. That's what our brain tells us.
This.
This is the basis of the thought model that I work from, the main tool that I use for coaching. So I'm going to talk about the primary kind of just a review of the thought model, and then we're going to talk about how this way that our brain works applies to these thoughts and feelings that we have about food that keeps us stuck. So, if you remember, the thought model is composed of five different components. One is circumstances. Two are thoughts of three is feelings. The fourth part is actions. And the fifth part is results. And how they fit together is our brain has thoughts about the circumstances. So there's a circumstance in the world and our brain has thoughts about it. And those thoughts drive our feelings, and those feelings drive our actions. And those actions. When we collect, like the collection of actions that happen, give us the result that we have in the world.
This working model of our brain combines a couple different concepts in the psychological literature, like people who study brains, a couple different concepts of psychology. One is confirmation bias, and the other concept is our brain as a prediction machine.
So, confirmation bias is a concept that describes how the brain will overemphasize. It will seek out information, and it will prefer information that confirms and supports what it already believes. What it already thinks. This means that in the presence of all the evidence, the supporting evidence and the refuting evidence, your brain is going to prefer the evidence that it already believes. It is going to preferentially see that evidence to confirm what it already believes. So this is one reason that it's really, really, really important to manage our mind and be intentional with what we believe. If you're believing and looking for evidence that you already, already evidence of things that you already believe, if that's what happens, but your beliefs are dumpy, this is really, really, really bad news, because you are going to find evidence of the dumpy belief that you have everywhere. So if you take your unintentional dumpy thoughts like I can never be healthy or I can't lose this weight, or life will mean nothing without bread or chocolate or diet Coke, pick your dumpy thought. But if these are your thoughts that you're spending time with, that you are sticking with, like not questioning, not challenging, not deciding, is this even true or not? If these are the things that you're believing, you will see evidence in the world that supports this and this alone.
And then that evidence will drive actions for you to create more evidence of it, because you're going to confirm what you already believe. If you have a belief, say you're delaying Vaughn, and you have a belief that life is nothing without Diet Coke, you will be miserable without Diet Coke until you change that belief. If you have a belief that life is nothing without bread, your life will be nothing without bread, you will create evidence of it. If you believe you can never lose that weight, you will create evidence of it. If you believe you can never get healthy, you will create evidence of it. So recognize, be very, very, very selective of the thoughts that you have and the things you believe.
The second concept that the thought model is built on is that our brain is a prediction machine. Our brain acts as a prediction machine. You may be familiar with this concept of prediction machine through computers. When a computer that has the ability to learn, it's a prediction machine. And what that means is the computer receives input, and then it makes predictions about the input based on the things that it knows from the past, that it's already been taught, that it's already experienced. And then it relays that prediction to its next function, and it changes that next function based on the prediction. And then further, that information from the function that it just did updates the prediction capacity for the next time. Okay, this is also how the brain works. The brain takes input that it's perceived. The brain is perceived input through our senses. So our five senses are hearing, smelling, tasting, seeing, feeling. And it takes those five senses, and it pulls input. I mean, that's where it receives input. And then it makes a prediction about that input based on what it knows from the past.
And then it relays that prediction to your body in the form of a feeling.
Then your body takes an action, changes a function, right? And the computer analogy, it takes an action or changes a function based on that feeling based on that prediction that was relayed to it.
This, of course, dictates our results or changes our results in some cases. And then, of course, we use that information to update our prediction capacity for the next time.
So I don't know about you, but I was never taught this.
I'm guessing that most of us were never taught that this is how our brain works. We simply run around the world, letting our brain do its thing and acting like the predictions and the thoughts that the brain have, that that's what's happening, that that's the reality.
We act on those thoughts, those predictions, without ever questioning them or ever being intentional about them. And this is just the way our brain works. And again, nobody, most of us weren't taught this is how it works. So we don't even know how to use it as a tool intentionally.
So when we talk about that earlier discussion about the brain being wrong, you know, we're one of 8 billion people in this world. But we believe that the experience, the prediction that our brain is making based on our past experiences, that experience and that prediction is right because it's our primary human experience.
But we think that like, it's the only option out there.
This is inaccurate. Based on statistics alone, you are one of 8 billion people. You have 8 billion minus one options for it not to be accurate.
These things that our brain tells us are inaccurate frequently, or at the very least, they are not the only option out there. Our brain acts, or our body acts, based on the things that our brain thinks, and frequently those things that our brain thinks are incorrect. And it's a big problem, especially where our food is concerned. So if you apply this to your food and your brain is telling you things like, oh, my God, the Oreos are so good, it's totally worth having the Oreo right now. Even though if my sugars go up or this thing is my favorite so I can start again tomorrow, it doesn't matter if my sugars go up today, or I'm mad and sad and frustrated or exhausted or overwhelmed or whatever, I deserve a treat, or I'm going to want it until I just eat it. So I might as well just do it.
Or thoughts like, it's so hard to eat healthy, this situation is just so hard to eat healthy. Or, I'm a foodie, I just live for this kind of stuff, I need to taste it, I need to have it, I need to enjoy it.
The list of thoughts that our brain gives us is really long and varied. But most of these thoughts lead to feelings of desire or even permissiveness. Like, we're just going to make an exception here.
Of course, those feelings, you know, our brain makes a prediction. It's worth it. Our feeling is permissive, and that feeling drives us to go eat the foods that make us sick. These feelings are why it feels hard. These feelings, you know, oh, my God, it's my favorite. Also. What's true is you're going to be disappointed in yourself and you're going to have mistrust in yourself the next time. This keeps you stuck and sick. This is what keeps you stuck and sick. This is why when women come to me and tell me there's something wrong with my thoughts, with this, I don't know what's going on. I tell them, it's always been your thoughts. It has always been your thoughts. That's always been the issue.
So despite the low quality nature of our thoughts, and depending on the intensity of the feelings that those thoughts drive, they relay to our body an intense feeling that will then cause us to have a certain action. And humans create actions that confirm these thoughts. That's how it works, even when they're low quality thoughts. So again, it's very important to be careful and to monitor what you're thinking and to start to realize that these are all optional. Like, if this thought doesn't serve me, all of the things are thoughts. So even the thoughts that are amazing, that's awesome. Great. If they serve you, run with it. But recognizing that they are always thoughts, there's not a time where something else that's happening. We believe what our brain tells us, and we frequently do that without considering or questioning the validity of what our brain is telling us. And this is where we really have a lot of agency to change what's happening. So I'm going to give you a non food example. So it's a game that I play when I'm running. I call it snake or stick. If you follow my instagram, you may be familiar with this game.
I love to do trail runs. It's my favorite thing. I do it as much as I can. Last fall, I ran a trail in the Texas hill country. So this is high plains, near desert like environment.
I was on a team. There's seven of us runners. We needed a name for our team. I suggested staker, snake or stick because that's the game that you're playing when you're out there on these trails. This is what goes through my brain every time I'm running on a trail. And this happens whether I'm in high desert or whether I'm in Kansas running on a trail here. Is it a snake or is it a stick? That's the question that goes through my head. And each summer I see maybe two or three snakes in reality. Like, I actually see two or three snakes, but my brain tells me that I see two or three snakes each run. So this is because my brain misinterprets every stick that I see as a snake every single time it does this. My brain misinterprets this, even though, again, I only see two or three snakes a summer. The overwhelming majority of the time, it is not actually a snake, it is a stick. And it tells me the same thing. And here is the ludicrous part about it. I believe it every single time.
And sometimes this launches an incredible, intense emotion in my body. Fear is the emotion and it's intense.
I really, truly wish somebody would be able to video and I could share this on Instagram and everybody could get a good laugh because it's hilarious. The response that the feeling of fear drives the movement in my body, that the feeling of fear drives is almost unnatural. I could not move this way if I needed to. Move this way, but my body jumps. My knees come up as high as I can get them. I'm frequently impressed with how high I can jump after these. But of course, after these scares, I'm like, I'm like startled for a minute, but I'm like, oh, it's just a stick, it's not a snake this time. Nine out of ten times, it's a stick. It's not a snake. But I still jump. And again, this comes from, why does this happen? Why do I respond this way? Because my brain is wrong, but I believe it every damn time.
My brain is wrong most of the time. And this is the intense emotion that we experience. We humans experience experience from the thought that our brain gives us that's inaccurate. So every time you've done laundry, if you think of the last time you did laundry and you saw a string and you're like, oh, my gosh, it's a spider, and it startled you and you jumped, you wholeheartedly believed the thought that your brain told you, even when it was inaccurate, and you had an intense emotion that came from that. That usually, again, drives an action, which is like the movement of startle and jumping back. If you are seeing a stick or a string, your brain thinks it's a snake or a spider. It's the prediction your brain makes. And your brain relays that prediction to your body and the feeling of fear. And then that feeling of fear drives the action, the function. You jump away, you move, you startle, you'll later laugh at yourself, but in the moment you believe it. And I want you desperately want you to see that your brain does this with food to you see the chocolate and your brain thinks, it tastes so good, it's my favorite. Or you see something else and your brain's like, I'm a foodie. Your brain relays this information, this prediction, the prediction it will taste good, it is my favorite. Or this is what foodies do. Your brain, that's the prediction your brain is relaying to your body, and it relays that in the form of desiree, the feeling of desire, and that drives you to the eating of that food.
But now when you eat that food, you get a dopamine reward, and then that heavily motivates you that in the mix of the experience, heavily motivates you to eat that food the next time you feel desire, or eat some food the next time you feel desire.
Not only do you feel desire, but recognizing the reality of it is that not only do you feel desire in the moment, but in the very near future, you're going to also feel very disappointed in yourself. You're going to have some fear or worry about your health, and you're going to feel general frustration with your behavior. And that's coming in the very near future.
But in the moment, you only believed the story about the desire, you believe the lie. I mean, it's true. You probably do like the foods, right? It's true. It could be a snake, it's true. It could be a spider. And maybe jumping is the response you want to have so you don't get bit by something that might kill you. It's true that you do desire the food, but you only believe that one part without questioning all of the other things that are going to happen. So the interesting thing in the literature is these feelings only last about 90 seconds. The feeling of desire for food is only going to last about 90 seconds.
What if you can write it out for 90 seconds? What if, knowing that it will shift in 90 seconds, the feeling will change in 1.5 minutes? What if you can remember that you will feel. Most women feel less intensity at 90 seconds, or they might even feel something different. Most humans feel this, right? So if the realizing of this, that the feeling will pass in 1.5 minutes, and the knowledge that in the moment it feels intense, but it's going to pass.
If that allows you to try not to fight that feeling, to just let it sit there, you don't need to do anything to make the feeling go away. It's going to go away on its own. You don't need to do anything to resolve the feeling. It's going to resolve. You don't need to do anything. How would that be different for you? How would these desires and these cravings be different for you? This is the key to calming your cravings. It's the key to it becoming easy. It's the key to quieting the chatter. It is the key to long lasting health changes.
You don't need to change jobs and go to a place where they don't have donuts like they have a policy for no donuts in the break room. You don't need to move to deserted island. And you, you don't need to wire your mouth shut. You just need to start giving yourself 90 seconds to experience the desire and the craving and watch what happens. Remembering that these feelings, that when you feed them dopamine, that they are, that you're creating a neural experience that's going to heavily motivate you to eat again the next time you feel desires or cravings you're going to be heavily motivated to eat it again because you ate it the first time or the second time or the 2000th time.
You have to start not complying with that motivation to eat in order to break that cycle.
When you eat because you feel desire, you are actually making it harder on yourself the next time.
Giving yourself that 90 seconds, that's the first thing that you need to do. Give yourself the 90 seconds. See what happens in your body. How does desire and craving even feel in your body? If I don't comply with it, if I don't feed it, if I don't get that dopamine hit, how does it feel in my body to just feel it? It's not comfortable, but it ain't going to kill you. It's not going to harm you. So how does it feel? And then after that, realize that your feelings of craving and desire aren't going to hurt you. And then start questioning the thoughts that your brain is giving to you. Your brain is likely telling you it's your favorite, that you would love it. It's everything, right? But is it your favorite?
I mean, is it only that it's your favorite? I think is really the question. If it were a hug from somebody that you loved and that was your favorite, it wouldn't be an issue. You wouldn't be moderating it. Because hugs aren't a problem. There's nothing else about them. They're just your favorite.
But the food that you're eating that's making you sick, it's your favorite and it's making you sick.
And do you really want that? Do you want that to be your favorite? Is that what you want? And is it true that something that makes you sick is really your favorite thing in the whole world? Is that even true? Question your brain.
When your brain tells you you will start tomorrow, I would ask questions. Is that true? Will I start tomorrow?
Will I be better qualified tomorrow to feel the desire for the food that I am not willing to feel today? Well, somehow I want the food less tomorrow. I'm being very snarky because this was my story. This is exactly the thought that I, that really was the crux that I had to get through. Will I somehow want the food less tomorrow? Will the food somehow be less appealing to me tomorrow than it is today? Even after I've reinforced my love for the food with a dopamine hit today, is it true that tomorrow is going to be my day to start?
Will I really start tomorrow? And if it's true that I will start tomorrow. Why am I saying it again today?
If you were going to start tomorrow, wouldn't that mean you started today?
Or wouldn't that mean you're just keeping going?
Question the story. Question the thought that your brain is giving you? Are they true? Your brain just works in a way that leads you to believe the experience that you have had.
It leads you to believe the things that have happened, not new experiences. We must critique it. In fact, it keeps us from having new experiences because we so wholeheartedly believe the old experiences.
If no human has ever critiqued a thought, we would not have combustion engines or electricities or cell phones or Internets or podcasts. We wouldn't have anything. We wouldn't have any of these. We must question our brain to do something new. It is the key. So this is the work that we do in the group. And for the month of October, there's actually a special one month group coaching session. It's called tame your cravings and it's only for the month of November and it's really focused on moving past your cravings. And it's coaching. It's weekly coaching sessions to work through this. I felt like it seems appropriate as the holidays are coming. If you are interested in this, you can go to www.dilanemd.com forward Slash team for more information. You can always send me a message if you have any questions or want me to get you registered delanemd.com as always, if you are medicated for your diabetes, please be very careful making dietary changes. You have been medicated for the way you've eaten in the past and if you change the way you eat, you're going to need change your medications. And if you don't, you can get very sick. The kind of sick that looks like hospitalizations and even death, and nobody wants that. That's not why you're doing this. So I need you to call your provider and I need you to ask them how they want you to share your blood sugar logs with them and then how you should expect to hear their med changes, their recommendations for med changes, how they intend to tell you that sometimes it's through a nurse's call, sometimes it's through a portal, sometimes it's through an email. Whatever it is, you're going to want to get a clear line of communication, how you're going to share your numbers with them and how they're going to share changes with you and that is going to keep you safe. This is what we do in the group. This is what I help women with. I let them know when they need to make that phone call to their doctor in order to keep them safe. But if you're going to do this on your own, I highly. I mean, certainly, I want you to frickin take your health by the horns and run it, but I need you to do it safely. So make sure you make that phone call to your provider. Lastly, I want to encourage you to keep listening and keep avoiding the foods that make you sick and keep making choices for your health, your longevity, and your vitality. We'll talk soon. Bye.
