EP228: Coaching Call with Judi

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You are listening to episode number 228 of the reversing diabetes with Delane MD podcast. Welcome to reversing diabetes with Delane MD, where women who are confused and worried about their type two diabetes come to learn strategies to fix it. I'm your host, Dr. Delane Vaughn. Ladies, if you know you are capable of doing badass things at work and for your family, but you're frustrated with why you can't seem to stop eating the chocolate cake, this podcast is for you. Let's talk. Hey there. Welcome to the podcast. We have a special episode today with listener Judy who has agreed to do a coaching call that can be recorded so others can listen to it and hear what it is to be coached. So I hope you enjoy that. Before we get started, I want to remind you that if you are on medications for your type two diabetes, please be very careful when you are making the dietary changes that I recommend in this podcast. Those meds have been given to you based on the way you ate in the past, and if you change the way you're eating, you're going to need to change those meds. You're going to want to get in contact with your provider and find out how they want you to share your blood sugar log with them and how they plan to share medication changes with you. If you don't do this, you can get quite sick, including needing hospitalization and possibly having even unfortunate outcomes like death. So please don't take that lightly. And if you are medicated for your type two diabetes, please make sure you're contacting your medical provider. And the last thing before we jump into this interview, I want to remind you that you can get my 14 days to better blood sugars workbook. You can find it on my Instagram profile in the link tree. Actually, there are many different ways for you to get help in that link tree. Everything from registration for webinars to signing up for a reverse your diabetes assessment call to finding this workbook. And it's 14 days to better blood sugars. It's really, really powerful. I highly recommend you find it. You can download the workbook to your computer and you can start working on it. And before the end of the year, you can have better blood sugars. That's a huge thing. And then I also want to encourage you if you have any questions. If you're really ready to get started on reversing your type two diabetes, set up a reverse your diabetes assessment call. These calls are 45 minutes calls for just you and me. We figure out what your biggest obstacles are and why you haven't been able to overcome them. If you're ready to do that and get serious about fixing your type two diabetes, set one of those calls up again. You can get access to my calendar through that link tree in my Instagram profile. If that sounds complicated to you, and I get it, technology is a deal. So if that's a problem, don't hesitate to email me. [email protected] I can get you all of these resources to you through my email also. So just send me an email. [email protected] to get the help you need to fix your type two diabetes. [00:02:50] Speaker B: All right, we're back, and I would like to welcome Judy to the podcast. Welcome, Judy. I'm so grateful you're here to do this for us. [00:02:56] Speaker C: Oh, thank you for letting me. [00:02:58] Speaker B: Absolutely. So we spoke a little bit before we started recording. And so there are a couple of things, questions, kind of science questions, or at least one that I can answer about kind of now that my a one c is normalized, is it okay to have a splurge meal or a joy eat, as I call it, and kind of what that looks like. And then the other question that you had on those lines is, do you have to break up with food that's higher in carbs or can you have it in your life as long as it's kept limited, like not a total breakup? We'll come back to that one, because I do like that question. You always get to decide. So science, what I do with women in the group is that once our fasting blood sugar has stayed below 100 for solid 14 days in a row, or around 100. Sometimes it's right around 100. For whatever reason, some women will normalize their a one c, they'll normalize their serum insulin level, they'll normalize their labs, and for whatever reason, their fasting blood sugar just kind of hovers around 100, which is fine. Some women drop to 85. That's awesome, too. So once you get that kind of consistency in your fasting blood sugar over about two weeks, then what we do is a 75 grams carbohydrate test. So one meal, 75 grams of carbs, any kind of carbs you want. Potatoes, sweet potatoes, sundaes, brownies, pasta, whatever you want. Really kind of a no holds barred. In fact, I encourage you to have kind of the super processed, the more ultra or highly processed stuff. Just because if you're only eating 175 grams of carbs in the form of celery, is a whole lot of celery. But two, I encourage you to use that thing that you're really like. I am not interested in letting go of that food for the rest of my life. I really would like to find a way I can have that in my life. That's going to be kind of. Sometimes we want to only get the good blood sugars. There is far more information in the worst blood sugars you can get. So it's kind of one of those things. Don't hold back, really let yourself go within that 75 grams limit. And then what you do, you eat the 75 grams, you eat it in one meal, and then you test your blood sugar at 30 minutes, at 60 minutes, at 90 minutes, at 120 minutes, you should see a spike, and you should see at 120, it goes down. This goes back to the idea that insulin resistance is not defined by a specific number. It's a functional definition. Meaning it is a definition of how well are your cells functioning in the presence of insulin? Are they doing what they're supposed to do when insulin is around? And the only way you know that is by getting a huge surge of insulin and seeing if they're opening up and bringing that blood sugar inside and burning it off. Okay, can I have a splurge every day? [00:06:13] Speaker C: Really? [00:06:13] Speaker B: Until you see that information? Every day? Not. You didn't ask every day a splurge, but once in a while a splurge. You won't know if your biology has kind of healed enough until you get that information. Okay. If you're still having fasting blood sugars in the 115 range, you're probably not healed enough. And so if every time that you have a splurge, it's going to be a step backwards. Not an entire erasing of all the work you've done, but definitely a step backwards. Okay. [00:06:48] Speaker C: Does that make a difference that I was considered pre diabetic and not type two diabetic yet? So I don't test my blood sugar every day. I just have my routine blood work done with my doctor. It is harder 80s for fasting. [00:07:09] Speaker B: What is your a one c then? [00:07:10] Speaker C: My a one c went from 6.4 in January to my last a one c was done early summer, and that was at 5.4. [00:07:21] Speaker B: Okay, so we know that still, even at 5.4, there might be some insulin resistance, but less likely. Certainly doctors get excited and want to high five you when you're 5.6. [00:07:32] Speaker C: Right. [00:07:33] Speaker B: And we definitely know that there's probably still insulin resistance there. It does make it harder to know because, of course, you can be on the edge right. And the function of insulin. So if your cells are pretty healed up and then you eat pasta or a sundae or a brownie or whatever, and you get a huge surge of insulin, if your cells are just kind of on that fence, they might get stunned back into insulin resistance. [00:08:04] Speaker C: Okay. [00:08:05] Speaker B: And then you have to give your cells time to heal from that before you can go back and redone them or re challenge them really well. [00:08:18] Speaker C: I have the capability of testing. My husband tests because he's type two diabetic. [00:08:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:24] Speaker C: I shared you prior, so he tests his every morning just to keep track of it. So I easily have access to that. So I could do what? [00:08:35] Speaker B: That's just where you're going to get the most sophisticated information. [00:08:38] Speaker C: Okay. [00:08:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:39] Speaker C: So basically it's like splurging at 75. I mean, 75 carbs is more than I've been eating in an entire day. [00:08:47] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:50] Speaker C: So doing that, then I should see a recovery within 2 hours. [00:08:55] Speaker B: It should be below 130. [00:08:57] Speaker C: Okay. [00:08:58] Speaker B: Yeah. And then you can. And so how often, I think, is kind of the question, how often can I have a splurge? How often I call them Joy eats. How often can I use food? The mere joy of it, not for any biological function. [00:09:13] Speaker C: Right. I laugh because I watched your podcast on breaking up with food. And the whole time I'm listening, I'm thinking, yeah, okay. I know that. I understand that. Is it okay, once you're leveled off and all your levels are in a really good place consistently for several months, can you have a one night stand? [00:09:36] Speaker B: And that's where it's kind of like, where is your brain? Just exactly like a one night stand would be. Right? You know, talking to the ex boyfriend then ruminates your brain into everything and creates all of it again. Like, gosh, you can, but you're going to have to deal with the aftermath of it. Right. It's the same thing I always tell women. You can go on vacation, you can go on a cruise, have it all, enjoy it. We can fix it when you come home. There's nothing we can't fix. There's nothing that's permanent. How much do you want to have the results of that is really what it comes down to. And are you sure you understand entirely what you're purchasing, what you're exchanging? Right. I'm exchanging having this joyful experience in my mouth and maybe an hour afterwards for me, at least for like three days of jonesing for the food. And for me, a lot of times I'm like, I'll do it over the holidays. And my birthday, they all go together. But come January, man, I'm like, let's get out of this. I don't like who I am thinking about. I don't like how much energy I spend with that. And that's where it's, like, you get to decide. [00:10:50] Speaker C: Well, and that's where I am right now, because my husband and I had, like, five, six weeks of special occasions on the weekends, and it was summer, and summer, you kind of let go a little bit anyway. But those five, six weeks we haven't been tracking, we haven't been careful, we've been splurging a lot more and everything, and we're just having such a hard time, both of us just getting back on track. And the worst part of it is now I'm craving stuff that I hadn't craved in months. [00:11:28] Speaker B: Yeah. So tell me what it means when you're off track. Give me hard data. Like, I ate processed foods, which you and I think would probably agree that is anything from a bag, a box that's flour based, that's got sugar in it. I ate processed foods how many times a week since what time? Give me some hardcore data here. [00:11:56] Speaker C: I mean, most of it is snacking type stuff. My husband and I are both crazy about ice cream and summer prime ice cream, and we can sabotage each other. Neither one of us is feeling super strong, and the other one's like, ice cream sounds really good, and we both give in. So it's that kind of thing. It actually hasn't been a lot of what I would call bad eating. We just haven't been tracking as carefully. I haven't been eating as low a carbs and portions have been bigger. So I know my carbs have gone up a lot just because we haven't been as careful with that. [00:12:47] Speaker B: So it's not necessarily like you're down in a box of Twinkies every week or something, but more that. No. What carbs are you eating? [00:12:57] Speaker C: Carbs, to us, are. Well, like I said, popcorn and ice cream are my food nemesis. [00:13:05] Speaker B: How frequently are you having popcorn and ice cream in a week? If you put both of those together, how many instances? [00:13:12] Speaker C: Probably once or twice a week, which I wasn't at all before. And popcorn especially. I just eat too much of it. A little bit is not satisfying to me. To me, popcorn is like potato chips for some people where they stop, where we don't eat a lot of processed foods other than that. And my husband is addicted to diet Coke, which I know you can relate to my people, he tried to give that up for a while. And now he's on the struggle bus with that and just things like, I had a stressful week a couple of Fridays ago, and I texted my husband, said, we're going out for pizza because it used to be, oh, let's go out for a drink after work and just relax. Well, we've cut out alcohol, too, so it's like, I just feel like, oh, my gosh, I have no crutch. [00:14:17] Speaker B: Okay. [00:14:18] Speaker C: And that's part of it. It's like, oh, my gosh, food. Having a drink with my husband, and neither one of us were ever big drinkers, so it's not like an out of control thing, but meeting for a drink after work or something and relaxing after a stressful week or having it with dinner or just having food as a stress relief, that's always been my go to even as a kid, you know, my background. I've struggled with weight since I was little, and food has always been my comfort. I struggle when I'm not drinking and I'm not supposed to eat stuff. It's like, oh, and I'm stressed. [00:15:05] Speaker B: Yeah. When you're having thoughts that you're off track or that you're not tracking, how does that feel when you have getting remoteivated after being on for a while, but after being not on for a while, how does that feel when you think that I need to get remoteivated? Since I've been off track, I feel. [00:15:28] Speaker C: Very much like a failure when I get off. Like I've totally let myself down. And once again, for the millionth time in my life, I've let myself down and I'm a failure. [00:15:39] Speaker B: Yes, I think that the question, because that's clearly not going to benefit you, but the question becomes, like, why did you go off track? [00:15:53] Speaker C: Like I said, no crutch. Special occasions, early celebrating is a theme for me. I get to a point. I had lost 40 pounds since January. My clothes were fitting great. Some clothes that were too big were becoming too big. And I was feeling really good. I was actually seeing myself in pictures and thinking, hey, I don't look bad because that's always my gauge. I feel okay about myself until I see myself in pictures. And I was just to a point where I was starting to feel good about myself and what I was doing for myself and my body felt really good. And then it becomes like, we went to Chicago for a weekend. It's like, okay, we can splurge because we're going away on a little mini vacation and stuff like that. And then the next week there was something else, and the next week there was something else. So it was kind of. [00:16:53] Speaker B: Sure, it sounds like there were two phases. Like there was an agreement that you were willing to, like, there's these events, and I'm going to splurge. I was also in Chicago this summer, and I ate Chicago pizza because that's what I do. And I have, like, horrible reaction with gluten, but I'm willing to make that exchange because that pizza is delicious. [00:17:13] Speaker C: Right, right. [00:17:17] Speaker B: There are experiences where you're willing to make an exchange, and it sounds like maybe those six weeks of events, at least on some level, you were willing to make the exchange. Yeah. [00:17:29] Speaker C: And I think part of our issue was that there was so much all at once because there were occasions like, my husband's birthday is in May, and so we went out for a nice dinner and we got dessert and that kind of thing. But then the difference was it was that one occasion, then we got right back on track, and that was kind of the deal that we made with each other. And even with our physician, we go to the same doctor, the same internist. And that was kind of a discussion that we had with him at our separate appointments, that he was ra cheering for our success, which was awesome. And he said, now, how are you going to maintain this? Because what we were doing was quite restrictive, kind of our mental agreement with each other. Was that, okay, when we have special occasions, we're going to not go crazy, but let ourselves enjoy food. And then when we have control again at home, we're going to go right back on. And we did really well with that until about the end of July. [00:18:45] Speaker B: What's been different, though? [00:18:49] Speaker C: What do you mean? [00:18:50] Speaker B: What happened in the end of July that's made it different? [00:18:54] Speaker C: I think we had so many occasions close together that it just kind of became a continuous splurge. And now we're to the point where we're both teachers, we're both back to school full time, which is great. It actually makes it easier. Summer being home, I think, is harder. There's just too much opportunity where our schedules at school are so busy that I barely get 20 minutes for a lunch. So I don't have that temptation. But it is hard because now, like I mentioned before, I'm to the point where now we splurge for so long and those old habits come back so easily that I myself just back in that old habit where I'm like, okay, tomorrow I'm on again. Tomorrow I'm tracking and I write everything down and I get it all figured out. And by 06:00 at night, I've blown it. [00:19:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Why have you blown it? Give me an example of the 06:00 p.m. At night that you've blown it. [00:19:57] Speaker C: I think part of it is returning to the stress of school and part of it and not having that go to thing other than food. I want to eat the whole house the second I walk through the door. [00:20:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:13] Speaker C: And then the other thing is the cravings are back after splurge for so long. So my brain going along with your live thing this morning that I listened to my brain, I'm fighting my brain because my brain is like, you want that? You want that? Ooh, it'll taste so good, and you need it. You're stressed. My brain is winning right now. [00:20:36] Speaker B: Yes. So there's a few things going on here. One is your brain offers you that you have to answer stress with something. And food is the habit and the practice that you have made. [00:20:54] Speaker C: For sure. [00:20:56] Speaker B: Whenever you have the feeling of stress and you believe you need to fix the stress, your brain is going to always offer you food. What's wrong with being stressed? [00:21:15] Speaker C: It's just not a good feeling. [00:21:18] Speaker B: Right. But the feeling of being. [00:21:21] Speaker C: I can probably guess what the answer is. [00:21:24] Speaker B: Yeah. It's just the feeling of being disappointed, though, and feeling like you're not on track. Also not a good feeling. [00:21:33] Speaker C: No, that's true. [00:21:34] Speaker B: Your brain is offering you that there is something you can do to feel good about a scenario. Right. And maybe there are some things you can do. But do you think that there is ever going to be a reality where you're not stressed at work? [00:21:52] Speaker C: No. [00:21:52] Speaker B: Okay. So if there's never going to be a reality where that's going to happen, how do you want to manage your stress? [00:22:00] Speaker C: I need to find something different when I walk through the oR, you know. [00:22:06] Speaker B: Do you need to get really good at feeling? Ah, God, Delaine, you have the worst ideas ever. [00:22:14] Speaker C: I don't want to be. [00:22:18] Speaker B: I would. I would challenge that. I would challenge that because a lot of times we believe we don't want to be stressed. But why you're stressed is because you believe in what you're doing. You're stressed because you care. I'll tell you, the teachers that aren't stressed, they don't care. Right. That can happen. You cannot be stressed. It's just not the human that aligns with your authenticity, with who you are. So do you really want to not be stressed about the things that are important to you? [00:22:53] Speaker C: No, because I want to care about them. [00:22:58] Speaker B: That's probably the puzzle for you to solve, is like, I'm going to feel stress here. I don't need to make it go away. I can just manage it and go about my day, make the planned food that I have, make the things that I've already planned out for myself, and go from there, carrying the stress. The fact of the matter is, the pizza doesn't undo the stress. [00:23:22] Speaker C: No. It just tastes so darn good. [00:23:25] Speaker B: Yeah, for a minute. It's definitely distracting. Definitely distracting. Right. But the interesting component I want you to see, and this is the funny thing about the brain. Even in the summer when you didn't have school, you were struggling. That's when the six week party started that you need the food for stress as a story. Your brain tells you to keep you eating the food that makes your brain happy. [00:23:55] Speaker C: Good point. All right. You get a point on that one. [00:23:58] Speaker B: Yeah. I see this in women. You get to decide again. And that's why I want you to kind of normalize the idea of being stressed. It's totally okay for you to have a feeling you don't want. It's totally okay. And I don't enjoy the feeling, but it is authentic to what's happening in my life. Right. Maybe it's not the best and the most fun feeling, but it's what's really happening. And so can I hold space for that thing that's what's really happening and not try to fix it with something that doesn't fix it and create some disappointment in the future? Right. [00:24:42] Speaker C: So then do I try to find an alternative thing when I'm feeling that stress when I get home from work, I think rather than, don't get me wrong, yeah. I walk through the door and it's like, I'll say to my husband, oh, I just need something to take the edge off. And, yeah, I'm eating almonds. I eat a little cupful of almonds. But the difference is I'm eating too many almonds. Yeah, you can have too much of a good thing. Right? [00:25:15] Speaker B: Even sunshine burns if you get too much. Absolutely right. So I would tell you one. I think that the first step is to sit with the feeling, like, the feeling of stress and overwhelm. Like that. I need to take the edge off. I want you to sit with the edge for a while just so you can see what is really being told there. Like, what is really happening. The idea, I mean, sometimes just the acknowledgment, just the saying, the verbalization, even. It's only in your head. I am edgy because sometimes work is stressful. This is part of the career I've chosen. I choose to be stressed because I care about my job. Just acknowledging that sometimes is enough to dissipate it, to give you some release of the intensity of it, and I think that's helpful. [00:26:08] Speaker C: So can I ask you physically, does it have to do at all with where my daytime blood sugar is sitting? Because I've been told different things, and one of my doctors that I had seen suggested, well, maybe you need to eat, like, a snack in the middle of the afternoon in between your classes to level things out a little bit or eat something on the way home to level you out a little bit so when you get home, you're not having that craving that you're not sure of stress or food related. Does that make sense? [00:26:52] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. And I totally understand what people say, and they're not wrong. When you're insulin resistance, you definitely have fluctuations in blood sugars because your cells aren't responding appropriately. So you'll have super highs and super lows, and that definitely can stimulate some unpleasant physical feelings. If you are not medicated, you are not going to die from that. Okay. And the way that I always think about it is 10,000 years ago, if there wasn't almonds available for me to eat after I was done doing the job I had to do, and I came back to the hut and I was stressed, would I die? Like, would anything bad happen to me? [00:27:35] Speaker C: Right? [00:27:36] Speaker B: And then I get to this calm place, then it's kind of like, well, absolutely not. I'm fine. I'm just irritated. For me, stress always comes out of here. I think most things come out, end up irritated in my feelings wheel. But, yeah, so that's kind of the thing now. If you think something is really, truly, physically wrong and you don't know, I'm trying to think. When I have an anaphylactic reaction, the right answer is to always take my epipen. That's a very clear, like, I know this is the biology that's happening in my body. I know what's happening. I know how to treat it. I take my epipen, I go to the emergency department. That's something, you know, if you have something happening in your body and you're like, my biology is wrong and I need to seek out medical care, then you need to seek out medical care. Right. But if it's just like, I don't know, am I hungry or am I just irritated? Would food help? Chances are good that's your brain's clever way. [00:28:33] Speaker C: It's totally emotional. And I do know that because that's been my pattern my whole life. Like, even as a kid, I remember being upset about something, and I'd head in and grab a snack off the top of the refrigerator, or I was sitting there watching tv by myself. I come from a big family, very busy family, sitting there watching tv by myself. I'm bored. I go in and I grab a snack off the top of the refrigerator. I mean, that's been my whole life. It seems like every emotion is centered around food. How food remedies, boredom is, stress is. Grief is. Everything is centered around food. And it was the food that I would seek out that would make me feel better. [00:29:24] Speaker B: Yes. And it would for a brief time. Yeah. Right. So, see, that habitual component that you talked about earlier is going to come into play here. Have you ever heard me talk about dogs running a fence line? Okay, so you bring a dog into a yard, and it runs the Fence line, right? And initially, there's grass that goes all the way up to the fence, and then the dog starts running, and the grass gets padded down, and it's flattened out, and then it becomes dirt, and then it becomes a deep rut. Right. From over and over and over and over. Using that fence line, the connections in our brain that creates thoughts, feelings, and actions. That's actually an anatomical connection in our brain between cells. And the more you use them, the tighter they become. Like that groove, the easier it is for your brain to run them. They become very well used. The tighter those connections are, the quicker they run. Okay. Like a dog on a fence line. If you put an obstacle in that fence line and suddenly they can't stay on that path, they will awkwardly sniff their way around. Sniff their way around. Every time they'll sniff their way around. And over time, they will create a new padding down the grass, new dirt trail, new groove. Right. Your brain will do this also if you give yourself an external obstacle to eating that food, which it sounds like somehow like you just were hell bent, probably January through June, that you weren't eating that food and you didn't care what was happening, and you're like, hell no, will not go. Right. You were a no. And that was the external stimuli that forced you to awkwardly move around. Right. All your brain remembers right now in this phase where you're having a hard time getting remoteivated, is I seem to do it so easily, you don't remember any of the awkward part, or at least it's not what we're talking about. Because your brain is like, why can't I go back to doing it? Right. [00:31:30] Speaker C: Right. [00:31:31] Speaker B: What happened is just like a dog in the yard. If you remove that obstacle, they will go back to the original pathway. You've removed that obstacle for six weeks, and you've gone back to the original pathway, and now you're like, why can't I go back to the way I was doing it before? Because this is a habit. Your brain's always going to go to this habit. You need to expect this habit to travel side by side with you in your car for the rest of your life, because it's who you've been for how many decades? [00:32:03] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:04] Speaker B: Okay. So to think that somehow the last six months is going to change decades. Of course you're, like, frustrated. [00:32:12] Speaker C: Right? That's where the early celebration comes in, because. [00:32:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:21] Speaker C: I forget what I was going to say. [00:32:23] Speaker B: Yeah, that's exactly how this is happening for you. One, you have a belief that stress is something that needs to be remedied for you somehow, some way. [00:32:38] Speaker C: Now I know what I was going to say with the early celebration. Part of the really strong pull and motivation from January through June was the fact that because my husband was diagnosed with type two diabetes last year, and he was having a hard time getting it under control and he was on meds, they put him on metformin, and he felt horrible on it, and it didn't seem to make a huge difference for him. So in January, we're like. And my a one c was 6.4, and my sugar was up to was like, 118 or something like that. Oh, no, 166. Sorry, 166. And it's like, okay, this is an issue for both of us, so we're going to have to put this on project status and hit it hardcore, because this is not how we want to feel. It's not how we want to live. We're worried about our health. And it was like we were on high alert. And in that six months, my a one c went to normal. My blood sugar went to totally normal. His went down to the point where they took him off metformin. Luckily, our doc is not big into meds. He is not a med pusher. He's a great guy. So he was happy to get him off. And then my husband was able to just. His blood sugar actually went lower. Eating the way we were eating and regulating things the way we were regulating them went lower than it did when. [00:34:10] Speaker B: He was on the medication. Yeah. [00:34:12] Speaker C: So basically, we both kind of healed ourselves with what we were doing. And then now, because our range is still in that normal range, his blood sugar has gone up a little bit. But I think part of it too is the strong motivation and pull. Isn't there as much? Because we feel like we kind of conquered that knowing all too well, of course, that if we don't stop what we're doing right now, we're going to be right back there again. [00:34:47] Speaker B: Well, and this is why your doctor asked you what are you going to do to maintain it? Yeah. And this is where getting beneath getting the why. I'm like, I want you to sit with stress over afternoon. And I do, but the fact of the matter is you're going to have to find some way to take care of these emotions that you have that have nothing to do with food. You're going to have to implement strategies. A walk, music, a dance party, a bath, walking the dog, playing fetch with the dog, hugging your husband. You're going to have to find some other way to give you some release and create some peace in your life when stress is there. Okay? That is step two. That's what creates this long term. You can force yourself and coerce yourself to do anything for a year, maybe a year and a half, maybe even three years. But we are grown ass women and I don't want to be forced to do anything. Anything. Think of how much easier it is to do it when you just want all of it. You don't have to force or fight. It is not exhausting. [00:36:08] Speaker C: Right. And there are times I get really, quite frankly pissed off that it's like, why do I. [00:36:14] Speaker B: Yes, why I have to deal with. [00:36:17] Speaker C: All this when other people are just enjoying life and eating whatever they want and doing, I don't know. [00:36:25] Speaker B: And we work on that in coaching. We answer those questions, you tell me, why do you do it? And they don't. Can you answer that? [00:36:38] Speaker C: I don't know. With me, I think it's because this is the path I've been on my whole life. It's not a case where I had a cancer diagnosis eleven years ago when I went through that and it threw me into early menopause. It's not like, oh, all of a sudden I gained all this weight and now I'm having to deal with it and everything. I've been on this path my entire life and so part of it I've met at other people that they haven't had to deal with it and I'm mad at myself because I kind of set this path for myself. [00:37:14] Speaker B: Is that true? [00:37:15] Speaker C: You know, that. Well, I mean, I'm the one that ate the cookies, right? [00:37:21] Speaker B: Everybody eats cookies. So there's a couple of answers to that. And I think really answering like, why am I doing it this way? And they're not because they don't want to do it your way. There is a part of you that wants the result of not relying on the meds. It's a part of you that wants to stress about your kids at school. There is a part of you that feels really authentic for you. You're going to have to spend some time with that and let those thoughts and feelings start running the show versus the. I can't deal with the stress. I need a release. Where's the food? I have to fight this desire for food. It's so hard. It's so much work. They don't have to do it. Why do I have to do it? All of that is where you have to force yourself to do something and you won't do it forever. Nobody wants to be coerced to do something for the rest of their life. Right? [00:38:20] Speaker C: Right. [00:38:21] Speaker B: When you figure out, I could eat the cookies and just be medicated, I could do that. The reality is that's probably what everybody will end up being. You look at the studies, nine out of ten Americans are insulin resistant. So it's not anything special about you, friend. Right. This is not what makes you special. There are special things, but this ain't it. Right. So I think that answering that question feels a lot better than the frustration that comes from letting it sit in a question form. Right. [00:38:59] Speaker C: Well, and I want a big why. For me to get back on, one, it was a huge confidence booster. Like, I felt good about what I was doing for myself. And two, I felt very in control. And for me, that's a big thing because I'm a control freak. And so feeling like I had control over how my day went and what I planned for myself and everything, I think I have to get back to the mindset that that felt better than the ice cream I had two nights ago tasted. [00:39:44] Speaker B: Yeah. Part of it is getting back to that mindset and that's fun. There's like a newness to it when you're first experiencing it. And that newness, that novelty is just really fun for humans. We like new things. Some point that is going to wear off and you're going to have to do it for a different reason other than it's exciting. Because like I said in the Facebook live today, it is boring. [00:40:16] Speaker C: So that's the other thing we're so sick of eating the same stuff over and over again. [00:40:20] Speaker B: It's interesting, but you would not be sick of eating the pizza over and over and over again, or the popcorn over and over and over again, or the ice cream. But we tell ourselves, like, I don't have any variety. Well, I didn't have any variety. I mean, I always got the same ice cream, too. Always. Like, there was no variety there. [00:40:37] Speaker C: Good point. [00:40:38] Speaker B: That's a story we tell ourselves. So I would encourage you one to start to spend time with stress and start answering these questions that your brain brings up to you. Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to eat this way all the time? It's so boring. Start answering those, and then after you get some really good clarity about why I'm feeling stressed, why I'm thinking this way, then you can start to decide whether you want to keep it or not. Because it's always, all the thoughts are optional, and some of them I want to keep. Like, some of them are cruddy and I want to keep. Right. They're all optional, and some of them I want to keep, and some of them I don't. And so that's where you then start to kind of get different ways of dealing with it. Okay. The other thing, I want to encourage you, whereas your brain has wrapped up, especially from a lifetime of this yoyo, this experience of striving and striving and striving to get control over this eating, your brain has built up that. All the fun, all the jazz hands in the world come with food. The gift of this work, at least where I'm concerned, the gift of this work is the robustness that you add to your life from no longer relying on food to do all those things. Okay. Start thinking of you five years from now. Weight where you want it, no risk of diabetes. You've had a normal a one c for three years running. You don't struggle with it. It's just real steady. Eddie, even Steven. What are you doing day to day? How do you handle coming home from work stressed? How do you handle when you're bored? What are you doing? That's where you're going to find a lot of answers to some of the questions that you're having. Is that helpful? [00:42:33] Speaker C: Very. [00:42:35] Speaker B: What do you think about all that? [00:42:37] Speaker C: Yeah, you hit on a lot of important points of the emotionalness for me, for eating. It's so key and always has been for me. [00:42:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:56] Speaker C: I'll have to think through what I replace that with and how I deal with those emotions. Without grabbing that cup of. [00:43:07] Speaker B: And even give yourself permission. Like I said, maybe I don't need to do anything about it. Maybe I can just sit and feel this way. Maybe that's not going to actually be the end of me. Nobody's going to actually spontaneously combust, but our brain presents it to us. Like something like that might happen. Right? Yeah. Give yourself permission again to feel awkward so you can start reconnecting some different neural grooves. Okay. [00:43:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:43:39] Speaker B: Let me know how that goes. Yeah. [00:43:41] Speaker C: And I love your dog perimeter analogy. To me, that just makes so much sense. [00:43:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:49] Speaker C: I have to put up that barrier and start looping around again. [00:43:53] Speaker B: Yeah. And recognize, a lot of times you won't even know the emotional cause of what's driving you to whatever food it is unless you give yourself the expectation that you're not going to eat it. Right. If you know when you come home tonight or whenever, that you're not going to have a handful of almonds, no matter how stressed you are, like, there's a million dollars on the table, if I don't eat those almonds, I'm not doing it. You're going to become very clear in the evening about what emotion is there. So maybe last time it was just. There was so much focus. Honestly, I am sure that you felt stressed last time and you just felt it. It's just in your brain. The memory of doing it was way easier than actually doing it today. Right. [00:44:42] Speaker C: Right. [00:44:44] Speaker B: So lean into that, see what's there, and answer your questions that your brain gives you. Sound good? [00:44:53] Speaker C: Sounds great. [00:44:54] Speaker B: Anything else to add? [00:44:55] Speaker C: I don't think so. Thank you so much for your time. [00:45:00] Speaker B: Absolutely. I just want to thank you so much for being so willing to be vulnerable in the space so that everybody else can benefit from it, because I think that this is a very common experience for women who are struggling with this. So I appreciate you so much. [00:45:16] Speaker C: You bet. Thank.