EP221: "I Can Do It On My Own"

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You. [00:00:02] Speaker B: Hello, and welcome to the Reversing Diabetes with Delane MD podcast. This is episode number 221. I'm Delane Vaughn, a board certified family practice doctor, a former emergency room nurse, a veteran healthcare provider, and the host of this podcast. This podcast is for women who are not ready to let go of their longevity, their vitality, and their vigor. [00:00:23] Speaker A: It's for women who know that life as a gift and they see type two diabetes as a threat to that gift. [00:00:28] Speaker B: They are badass women who do amazing things in other parts of their life, but can't seem to master. Chocolate cake. If that's you, let's talk. We are talking today about I can do it myself. [00:00:41] Speaker A: That story that we tell ourselves and. [00:00:43] Speaker B: That we've heard told to us many times over the years. But before we get started, I do want to remind you that if you are on medications for your type two diabetes, please be very careful as you make these changes, the changes that I. [00:00:56] Speaker A: Recommend in this podcast, in these episodes. [00:00:59] Speaker B: You have been medicated for the way that you have eaten in the past. [00:01:02] Speaker A: And if you change the way you. [00:01:04] Speaker B: Eat, you're going to need to change your medications. And if you don't, you can get very sick. [00:01:08] Speaker A: The kind of sick that looks like. [00:01:10] Speaker B: Hospitalization and possibly death. It can get very dangerous. So make sure that you have a clear line of communication open with the primary or the provider, the medical provider who's given you these medications. And you know how they want you to share your blood sugars with them. And then you know how you can expect to get feedback on how to come off of your medications in order. [00:01:30] Speaker A: To keep you safe. [00:01:31] Speaker B: This is really important to do as you're making these changes. And again, if not, you can get very sick. And I want you to be safe. [00:01:39] Speaker A: So I want you to be very careful. [00:01:41] Speaker B: I also want to ask you guys to share this. If you found this podcast helpful, if you found it that you're seeing amazing changes in your life from implementing these strategies, please share it. [00:01:51] Speaker A: You can do a couple of things. [00:01:52] Speaker B: You can share it on your social. [00:01:54] Speaker A: Media, whether it be Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. [00:01:57] Speaker B: Although I don't use Twitter, but you can share it however you use social media. But you can also just like the podcast on whatever podcast player you're listening. You can like it. [00:02:07] Speaker A: You can rate it the more times. [00:02:09] Speaker B: That you like and rate this podcast and your podcast player. The algorithm sets it up to put it in front of more people. [00:02:16] Speaker A: So like it, rate it, give it. [00:02:19] Speaker B: A review, share it on your social media. All of these things help get this podcast out there again for women who need to hear this. [00:02:27] Speaker A: Remember that nine out of ten people. [00:02:29] Speaker B: In America struggle with insulin resistance in some form or another. They need to hear this information so they can realize what they can do to live a naturally healthy life, that. [00:02:37] Speaker A: They'Re not just condemned to using medications. [00:02:41] Speaker B: The western medical system. [00:02:42] Speaker A: So lastly, I am offering diabetes reversal assessment calls. [00:02:47] Speaker B: These are 45 minutes calls where you and I get on the phone. We discuss what your obstacles are. You'll get clear on what your biggest obstacles have been and why you haven't been able to overcome them. If you're interested, you can hear more about working in the program and my group program for women with type two diabetes. But you can get some help and some clarity on kind of moving forward to start reversing your type two diabetes. If you would like to set one. [00:03:10] Speaker A: Of those up, you can set it up yourself. [00:03:13] Speaker B: You can go to callanlee. [00:03:17] Speaker A: Calendly.Com delanend. That will get you to my schedule. [00:03:26] Speaker B: And you can just set it up that way, or you can always send me an email at [email protected]. [00:03:30] Speaker A: All right, so let's talk about I can do it on my own. So the phrase that you probably are. [00:03:38] Speaker B: Familiar with is hearing this from your children, or maybe nieces and nephews if you don't have children. But I remember my babies saying this. I remember my kids would say, I can do it on my own. They'd be trying to do something, pour a glass of milk or tie a shoe or button their shirt. I can do this on my own. [00:03:55] Speaker A: I've got this. And I used to always tell my. [00:03:57] Speaker B: Kids, I know you can. I know you can do this. And I meant it. And I loved saying it because I. [00:04:02] Speaker A: Felt like absolutely, I wanted to empower. [00:04:05] Speaker B: Them to keep trying. I believed that they could do it on their own. I didn't want them to think that they couldn't. [00:04:10] Speaker A: So when I said, I know you can, I totally meant it. [00:04:14] Speaker B: I knew that eventually they would figure out how to tie their shoes or putt in their shirts or brush their teeth or pour that glass of water, I had no doubt that eventually they. [00:04:23] Speaker A: Would figure it out. With time, with practice, probably with a. [00:04:27] Speaker B: Lot of frustration, they would have totally figured it out. Of course, I knew I had more experience than they did. I understood the benefits of a good teacher, finding somebody who knew how. [00:04:38] Speaker A: I knew that they would achieve, like. [00:04:40] Speaker B: Learn that task so much quicker. [00:04:42] Speaker A: If they did it, they found someone. [00:04:45] Speaker B: Who knew how to do the tasks, who found the tasks to be easy. I knew it was easy for me, and I knew it would be easier for them to learn it if they. [00:04:54] Speaker A: Could find a good teacher. [00:04:56] Speaker B: So tying their shoes, brushing their teeth, buttoning their shirts, pouring glasses of water. [00:05:00] Speaker A: That was easy for me. But my kids were right. [00:05:04] Speaker B: With enough time and energy, they would. [00:05:07] Speaker A: Absolutely figure it out. [00:05:09] Speaker B: They would invest resources that they had or resources that were needed to figure it out. Sometimes these resources were asking others, maybe. [00:05:17] Speaker A: Friends, or asking each other, I have. [00:05:20] Speaker B: Twins, and so they were asking each other, how did you do it? Now show me what you did. [00:05:24] Speaker A: Now. What was that? [00:05:25] Speaker B: Sometimes they were watching other people do. [00:05:27] Speaker A: It, and they probably did get some. [00:05:29] Speaker B: Help from these resources. They also likely picked up some ineffective strategies and habits in that practice of asking others versus getting taught by somebody. [00:05:40] Speaker A: Who actually knows how to do it. [00:05:42] Speaker B: In the meantime, what I learned, I learned patience. I learned to watch them struggle. I learned to watch them repeatedly attempt to maneuver their shoelaces or line up their buttons to their buttonholes or slowly move their toothbrush over their teeth. Sometimes I had to go behind them and clean up the messes that they spilled while they were trying to learn how to pour a glass of water. But sometimes the role that I played was they would get really frustrated, and they would come to someone who knew how to do the job. Me, a lot of times. Sometimes their grandparents, sometimes their older brother. [00:06:14] Speaker A: They would break down, though, and they. [00:06:16] Speaker B: Would ask for help. And why? [00:06:17] Speaker A: Well, it was because they didn't want. [00:06:19] Speaker B: To take the extra time anymore to figure it out. [00:06:23] Speaker A: Right? [00:06:24] Speaker B: They were in a hurry to go outside and play with the neighbor kid, or they just wanted to get back to watching the television show that they wanted to watch. [00:06:30] Speaker A: Whatever it was, they wanted to get the job done, and they knew where. [00:06:35] Speaker B: To go to get the job done. [00:06:36] Speaker A: They knew who to ask. And they got to a point where. [00:06:39] Speaker B: They were so frustrated doing it on. [00:06:41] Speaker A: Their own that they just needed to find somebody who knew how to do the job. And lickety split quick, they would ask. [00:06:47] Speaker B: Somebody for help, and their shoes would be tied and their shirts would be button and their teeth would be clean, and they'd have a glass of water, and they could go back to living the life that they wanted to live, to doing the things that they loved. [00:06:59] Speaker A: They could let go of the frustration. [00:07:00] Speaker B: And it was so much easier to. [00:07:02] Speaker A: Have that person show them. [00:07:04] Speaker B: Inevitably, they did have to learn how to tie their shoes. Right? [00:07:07] Speaker A: They couldn't have somebody else tying their shoes for the rest of their life. They had to learn how to do the job independently, but it required being taught. It required practice, and it required refinement. Without that teacher, the task becomes hard. [00:07:23] Speaker B: Sometimes it feels impossible. And frequently it became overcomplicated sometimes by learning these ineffective techniques. [00:07:30] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:31] Speaker B: So when children learn from the I can do it myself mindset, the result. [00:07:36] Speaker A: Takes longer, is less effective, and feels. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Overall really, really hard. [00:07:42] Speaker A: If it's a task that is something. [00:07:44] Speaker B: They can just avoid doing for the. [00:07:45] Speaker A: Rest of their life. [00:07:46] Speaker B: I did this with cooking. Some kids do this with driving. [00:07:49] Speaker A: They never learned to drive a car. Some kids. [00:07:52] Speaker B: I would love to have the skill set of building, like, furniture at home or small projects at home. I never mastered learning how to use power tools. So that's not on the things that I do. I have to sign up or I have to pay out for that. [00:08:10] Speaker A: Right. [00:08:12] Speaker B: If it seems like something they cannot. [00:08:14] Speaker A: Learn, if it's so hard that they feel like they cannot learn it, they'll give up. [00:08:19] Speaker B: They'll avoid learning how to do those tasks. [00:08:22] Speaker A: Okay. [00:08:23] Speaker B: The I can do it myself mindset keeps many women stuck with type two diabetes in a similar pattern. [00:08:29] Speaker A: Okay. [00:08:29] Speaker B: They believe that they know the things they should do. More veggies, more exercise, less donuts. And definitely they're not wrong. [00:08:35] Speaker A: Those things would help. But fixing your type two diabetes and. [00:08:39] Speaker B: Learning to live a naturally healthy life is more than veggies. It's more than sweat. [00:08:44] Speaker A: It's more than donuts. [00:08:46] Speaker B: Those three things together are the equivalent of kids trying to tie their shoes because they know shoelaces need to go together. They need to put shoelaces together, and that's tying the shoes. Yeah, on some level, you do need to put shoelaces together, but doing that. [00:08:59] Speaker A: Alone doesn't get the job done. [00:09:02] Speaker B: Women who struggle for months or sometimes years or sometimes even decades to fix their type two diabetes are not able. [00:09:09] Speaker A: To implement the eating more whole foods. [00:09:12] Speaker B: Getting more exercise or regular exercise, and. [00:09:14] Speaker A: Avoiding processed foods in a way that. [00:09:18] Speaker B: Gets the end result they're looking for. [00:09:20] Speaker A: Kind of like kids who know that. [00:09:22] Speaker B: Shoelaces need to go together to tie their shoes. Just putting those shoelaces together are not getting them the end result of a shoe being tied that they're looking for. [00:09:31] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:32] Speaker B: Just trying to figure out how to eat whole foods, how to exercise, and how to avoid processed foods. Like, you know, you need to do those things, so why can't I do that? That is not going to get you the end result that you're looking for. For these women, fixing their diabetes becomes really, really hard. [00:09:50] Speaker A: They have to work so hard at it. They use words like strict, and we. [00:09:53] Speaker B: Need somebody to push us along. They feel frustrated. They feel defeated. [00:09:57] Speaker A: They feel lost. And like a child who does not. [00:10:00] Speaker B: Have a teacher, the task becomes impossible. [00:10:04] Speaker A: And they pick up many ineffective strategies. [00:10:07] Speaker B: And techniques along the way that don't really lead to the lifelong changes that they're looking for, for that end result. [00:10:12] Speaker A: That they're looking for. So these women, they repeatedly quit. [00:10:17] Speaker B: They feel like they have to be. [00:10:19] Speaker A: So strict because it's so hard. [00:10:21] Speaker B: They feel like they need accountability buddies. They need their husbands to do the same work that they do. They need their families to eat that way. They need their best friends to do it so that they can be successful. They look to fat free concoctions. [00:10:34] Speaker A: They look to fad diets. They think they need to clean their. [00:10:37] Speaker B: House of all of the tempting foods. [00:10:39] Speaker A: All the foods that make them sick. [00:10:41] Speaker B: Because that's how I have to manage my temptations. They believe they need to join challenges or expensive gyms. And if I had a nickel for every woman who told me that she needed her jaw wired shut, I would have, like, an Audi sitting out in my driveway, right? These are the desperate things that women believe. [00:11:02] Speaker A: These are the experiences they have because. [00:11:06] Speaker B: They believe that they should just be. [00:11:07] Speaker A: Able to do it on their own. Okay? They lose time. Women lose time, energy and money because I can do it myself. [00:11:16] Speaker B: This pattern makes women think that something's wrong with them, that they can't figure it out. They must be broken. [00:11:22] Speaker A: They give up. [00:11:24] Speaker B: And especially they give up when the. [00:11:26] Speaker A: Medical community is telling them, you don't. [00:11:28] Speaker B: Have to do that hard work. You don't need to change how you eat. There's a med for that. [00:11:32] Speaker A: Does any of this sound familiar for you ladies? [00:11:35] Speaker B: I want to offer you some reassurance. First off, there's nothing wrong with you, and you can absolutely figure it out. The same way I thought when my children would be like, I can do it myself. I know you can. [00:11:44] Speaker A: I have no doubt. You can do it yourself, okay? There is nothing broken about you. [00:11:51] Speaker B: No more than there was about your babies when they were learning to tie shoes or do the tasks that kids learn to do. [00:11:56] Speaker A: There's not one thing wrong with that baby, okay? [00:12:00] Speaker B: There's not one thing wrong with you. Women with type two diabetes go through all of these feelings. They feel frustrated. [00:12:05] Speaker A: They want to give up. [00:12:07] Speaker B: They believe they're never going to figure it out. It feels hard, and sometimes it feels impossible. And unfortunately, you're going to pick up some dysfunctional strategies along the way. [00:12:15] Speaker A: That have to be unlearned. [00:12:17] Speaker B: And this is where having a guide and a teacher along the way is so helpful. Finding somebody who knows how to do the damn thing, and they're doing it easily. [00:12:26] Speaker A: Somebody who's mastered it, someone who's tied. [00:12:29] Speaker B: Shoes for years, they've tied gym shoes. They've tied dress shoes. They can tie your shoes. They can tie their own shoes. That's the person you want to help along the way. You want to get help from along the way. Having a guide along the way helps you learn how to do it on. [00:12:46] Speaker A: Your own, how to do it faster. [00:12:48] Speaker B: How to do it easier, and how. [00:12:50] Speaker A: To do it effectively. [00:12:51] Speaker B: So, ladies, I say this all the time. Look around you. Who is doing the damn thing? [00:12:58] Speaker A: Who is living a naturally healthy life in your life? [00:13:02] Speaker B: Ask them. [00:13:03] Speaker A: Ask them what they're doing. [00:13:06] Speaker B: Find a guide. I try to live my life in a way that I can be that guide. Certainly I live diabetes free. I did get my labs drawn yesterday, and so I'm pretty excited to see what comes back. [00:13:18] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:13:19] Speaker B: My a one c has been less than five for years, but I'm always like, ooh, did I do something to mess that up? Let's see what happened. Do I need to make some changes? [00:13:26] Speaker A: I live diabetes free. I find it easy. [00:13:29] Speaker B: I like the way I live. I like the foods that I eat, and I've done this for the last five plus years, and I've helped many. [00:13:36] Speaker A: Other women do this as well. [00:13:38] Speaker B: But if it's not me that you're going to look to for that guide. [00:13:41] Speaker A: For that help for a teacher, please. [00:13:43] Speaker B: Look around and find someone else who is doing it and ask them, how. [00:13:47] Speaker A: Are you doing it? When our children let go of their pride and just ask for help, they learn to do the task quicker, they. [00:13:55] Speaker B: Learn to do the task better. They become more effective at doing the task. [00:14:00] Speaker A: When you think of all of the. [00:14:01] Speaker B: Resources you've invested in reversing type two diabetes, and if you're listening to this, my suspicion is you're still trying to fix it. You likely see all of these previous. [00:14:11] Speaker A: Times as evidence that you have failed. This is probably the most important place that a teacher comes in, okay? Because this evidence of failure is probably. [00:14:23] Speaker B: The worst part of not finding the effective teacher that you need to fix your diabetes. [00:14:28] Speaker A: When humans fail, we believe it's evidence. [00:14:31] Speaker B: That we're going to continue to fail. [00:14:32] Speaker A: And the more we try and fail. [00:14:34] Speaker B: The more we produce evidence that we. [00:14:36] Speaker A: Can'T do the thing. [00:14:38] Speaker B: This is an example of picking up some ineffective things along the way. [00:14:43] Speaker A: This is where having a guide is helpful. If a mother teaching her child to. [00:14:48] Speaker B: Tie their shoes, let their child believe that every time the knot did not tighten down, it meant that they were never going to tie their shoes. All children would be wearing velcro shoes to this day. The teacher keeps you from falling into. [00:15:02] Speaker A: That pattern of belief. If you've ever felt that it's difficult. If you've ever felt that you want to quit, if you ever thought, I'll. [00:15:09] Speaker B: Just go on the meds, I can't do this. [00:15:11] Speaker A: If you ever believe that you're never going to figure it out, or if. [00:15:15] Speaker B: You'Ve ever thought that you should have. [00:15:16] Speaker A: Fixed it by now, you have likely. [00:15:19] Speaker B: Fallen prey to the mentality of I can do it myself. [00:15:24] Speaker A: Ladies, if you are serious about fixing your type two diabetes, there is help. Give yourself the gift of putting all. [00:15:31] Speaker B: Of this behind you. The disease, the pattern of trying and stopping and starting and stopping and starting. This idea that you're failing, this horrible feeling that something is broken about you. [00:15:43] Speaker A: Put that behind you. [00:15:45] Speaker B: Start living your naturally healthy life, the. [00:15:47] Speaker A: Life you've always dreamed of. Know that there is help. [00:15:51] Speaker B: I offer help and there is help. Other places all around the world look for the help. You just have to look for it. [00:15:57] Speaker A: And take it again. [00:15:58] Speaker B: If not me in my program, look around and find somebody else willing to. [00:16:03] Speaker A: Show you the way to help you out. If you want to get started, kind. [00:16:08] Speaker B: Of on a baseline, what to do? Set up that reverse your diabetes assessment call. This is your first step in helping you figure out what the obstacles are and getting you pointed in the right direction again. You can schedule it at ww dot calendly.com delanemd. And then you can also always reach out to me. [email protected] and I'm happy to answer any questions. I'm happy to get you scheduled. I'm happy to do any of those things. [00:16:36] Speaker A: If you are not aware, next week on October Friday, on October Friday, I. [00:16:42] Speaker B: Think it's October 20 eigth. For some reason the 27th and the 20 eigth are both in my head. But it's October the last Friday in October, 10:30 a.m. Central time. [00:16:51] Speaker A: It is October 27. [00:16:54] Speaker B: I will be hosting a crush your cravings webinar. Basically, we're going to talk about what a craving is, why you have them. [00:17:01] Speaker A: And some strategies for managing them, for. [00:17:05] Speaker B: Passing through them, for letting them go, for releasing those. [00:17:10] Speaker A: I think this is imperative. [00:17:11] Speaker B: 27Th is four days in front of Halloween. The most candy laden holiday of the season. [00:17:18] Speaker A: And then of course, that's the jump. [00:17:20] Speaker B: Start to the rest of the holidays. So I think this is really important information for the upcoming holiday season. So if you struggle with cravings and holidays and you struggle with coming at the end of the holiday season and the new year, feeling sicker or seeing worse numbers than you started the holiday season for, with this webinar is for that exact scenario. [00:17:42] Speaker A: So you can send me an email. [00:17:44] Speaker B: Delane at Delaney, Md. And you can sign up that way. Or if you go to my instagram, you can find my link tree and there is a form and you can just sign up directly through that. [00:17:54] Speaker A: All right. [00:17:54] Speaker B: I will be back next week. I hope everybody has a great week. Bye.