Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] This is episode number 298 of Better Blood Sugars with Delaine MD welcome to Better Blood Sugars with Delaine Md where you can learn strategies to lower your blood sugars and improve your overall health. I'm your host, Dr. Delaine Vaughn. Ladies, if you know you're capable of doing badass things at work and for your family, but you're confused and frustrated with why you can't seem to stop eating the chocolate cake, this pops podcast is for you. Let's talk.
[00:00:31] Hey there, and welcome to the podcast. I am so glad you're here. I'm glad you're taking some time for you and for your health today, and I feel privileged that you're spending it with me. This is number 298. I'm almost at 300 episodes, which just seems insane, but I'm excited. Last week I had to post a replay of a webinar I did because last week was kind. Kind of crazy. But that just gave me more time to really prepare this podcast, and so I hope you find it beneficial and helpful. I think it's going to be a good podcast, and I'm kind of glad I had the extra time. Today we are going to talk about the real reasons that we struggle to make changes. I regularly hear from potential clients, from current clients, from myself, from my family, from patients. I hear this story of, I know what to do. I just can't seem to do it. I struggle to get it done. In fact, in the intro, I talk about, like, you know, you need to stop eating the chocolate cake. You just can't figure out why you keep doing it. This is what I want to talk about today. And I want to talk about. I want to break it down and give some strategies. And these are thought strategies, right? Like, if you know the chocolate cake's a problem, then stop eating the chocolate cake is the answer that seems straightforward. You don't need more information. You understand that chocolate cake or chips or pizza or overeating something or not exercising whatever it is, you understand that that is the solution. But you're struggling to get the results you want because you can't seem to do that thing. That's what I want to talk about today. And I really think this is at the crux of many of our. Many of the goals and dreams and things that we want to do with this one. Life here on the planet. Like, this is at the crux of why we struggle to do them. So I hope you enjoy this. I hope that you find something helpful for from it before we get started, I do want to caution you on meds. If you are medicated for your type 2 diabetes, you have been medicated for the way you have eaten in the past and if you change the way you eat, you're going to need to change your medications. So if you're going to change the way that you're eating foods, the foods that have caused type 2 diabetes, you're going to need to change the meds that treat the type 2 diabetes. If you don't make that change, you can end up very sick, the kind of sick that looks like hospitalization, ER visits, possibly even death. That is not why you're making these changes. So I need to really heavily encourage you to be very careful. What that means is you're going to need to contact your provider that has given you those medications and you're going to need to tell them, hey, listen, I am wanting to make changes to my diet. And then you're going to ask them how can I share my blood sugar log with you so that you can evaluate them so you can tell me which meds I need to change?
[00:03:20] And then they're going to tell you. And then you want to make sure that you clearly understand how you're going to hear back medication changes from them. Some docs are going to or some providers are going to use their nursing staff to get this information and pass this information along. Some providers are going to use a portal or email or some other way, but make sure you clearly understand how they want you to share your blood sugar readings with them and how they intend to share medication changes with you. Those two things are really important to keep you safe while you make the changes that I recommend in these podcasts. So I want you to do that. If you're not sure what to eat, that's okay. I have help for you. You can go to my website, delanemd.com forward/better to download the 14 Days to Better Blood Sugars Guide. This is a 14 day menu of exactly what you need to eat in order for you to start seeing better blood sug. Try it out and once you're done with it, set up a better blood sugars assessment call. These are calls, these are 45 minute calls where you and I hop on a zoom call and we talk about what worked, what didn't work and how you struggle to implement it long term. If for some reason it didn't work for you, I really, really, really want to hear from you because I've yet to hear that story. This 14 day guide is very powerful. So make that phone call to your provider if you're medicated. And after you've done the 14 days, set up a for better blood sugars assessment call. And you can do that using the link calendly.com forward/delainemd call. So calendly is C-A L-E-N--L-Y.com delainemd that's D E L A N E M D forward slash call C A L L. That will get you to my calendar. You can schedule a call. If for some reason you can't find a good time, send me an email. Delanend.com so today I want to talk about diabetics who know what need to be done. Like you know the thing that needs to be done but you have a hard time implementing it. Again. I hear this from friends, from family members, from listeners who write in, from patients, from clients. I know what to do, but I struggle to do it. And let me be honest. I have this story and I am going to use a personal example, a personal experience that I've had regarding my finances and sticking to a budget. But this story keeps us stuck. And in the case of diabetes, it keeps you sick. And my experiences, it's everywhere in our life. We all have the story. And the story is really at the root of the story is two different things and I want to dive into that. So you may have the story in many other areas of your life. In my personal experience, I have been working on my finances. I want to get a better handle handle on my spending and my finances to really understand where my money is going. I have two kids. You're. You may be aware I have 17 year old twins and they are going to be heading off to college here in the next year, year and a half and I want to be prepared for that.
[00:06:33] So I really feel like I need to have my finances dialed in more than I have.
[00:06:40] So similarly to changing a relationship with food, I want to change my relationship with money.
[00:06:46] And so here's the deal. I've known this was necessary. I knew this. They're 17 years old. I saw this coming. I've known for more than 17 years that I was going to have two kids possibly being ready for college and need needing college funding at the same time.
[00:07:02] So cue the story. I know what to do, but I struggle to do it.
[00:07:06] I have been doing some of the things and most people even when they're working on their diabetes, like, well, I do some of the things. So about 13 years ago I Opened up college funds for them. And I've been putting money away, but clearly, like, that's not enough. Right? That's the equivalent of, like, I make sure I eat a salad every day. Well, that may be part of it. That's helpful, but it may not be enough. And so there's way more that I could be doing financially, and I really needed to do it. The things I knew I needed to do, but I struggled to do were when I evaluated the information is I needed to buy less hair products, buy less face products, buy less clothing, and eat out less.
[00:07:48] I started about five years ago monitoring my budget.
[00:07:53] I think it's hilarious that it took five years of that monitoring for me to be like, okay, now I have these four areas. So this is seriously. This is what the podcast is about. This is the thing. It took me, or I allowed it to take me five years to see where my unnecessary spending was.
[00:08:12] So I knew for years in my brain what to do, but I struggled to do it in my brain. I just wanted to say, I need to spend less, less, save more. And that was going to be the issue, but for some reason, I struggled to do it. So when I hear I know what to do, I know what I need to do, but I'm struggling to do it. When I hear that from clients, there are usually two common reasons, and this was my issue also. There were two reasons. One, what is it going to cost me? Not financially, but in my experience, what is the cost? And then getting clear on what it takes to implement the action.
[00:08:52] So this is really what's the cost is really working through resistance, our intolerance to change, our unwillingness to pay the price that's required. Both, again, in the resources of money, in my budget example, right. But also the resource of discomfort or maybe time or maybe preparation, right? What is the price that's necessary and why am I so unwilling to pay it? And then getting really granular. When we talk about getting clear on implementation of an action, that is getting granular on what the steps are to make that action come together. In my experience with people, the source of our I know what to do, but I can't get it done. Revolve around these two things or a mix of them. And really, when you kind of look at it, you start to see that these two things are the same.
[00:09:47] So I definitely saw this with my finances, right? Like, as I was starting to implement a budget, and this is hilarious, as I, like, was writing, you know, my notes for this and, like, what I wanted to talk about I'm just laughing to myself because this is just the human existence. I had intolerance to changes with my finances. But many times people will avoid making the necessary dietary changes because they're resistant to these changes. Right. They're resistant to living differently. Right? Ring a bell with your finances? I'm resistant to living differently. And a lot of times with the food where we say things, clients will tell me, this is too hard. It's too hard to prep, it's too hard to plan, it's too hard to monitor, it's too much to think about.
[00:10:35] Or they'll say, I don't have time. I don't have time to plan. I don't have time to record. I don't have time to do the exercise. Or they say, I don't enjoy it. I don't like vegetables. I can't imagine life without bread or pasta or cake. Or I don't like to exercise, I don't like to sweat. It's too hot. It's too much work. I don't like it, I don't enjoy it.
[00:10:57] Or the other thing that I hear a lot is, it's not a problem right now. I don't feel bad right now.
[00:11:05] And when I do avoid those foods that make me sick, I feel really bad.
[00:11:10] So I want to offer to you. Me too. Samesies. I have the same experience.
[00:11:18] I have started using this budget app. My boyfriend recommended it to me, and when I implemented it, I was borderline mean to him about this stupid app. There was what we call at my house, bitching and moaning. I was doing a lot of bitching and moaning about this app. It's too hard. They don't use the terminology I use. I don't even know what they're talking about. You say inflow. What you mean is income. And there's, of course, this, like, hefty dose of snideness, as I would say these sentences.
[00:11:49] It makes the, you know, that makes it so hard. They use different words as stupid. These are things that are series quotes from my mouth. I don't have time. This was another story that I had about the budgeting. I don't have time. This is a waste of my time is what I said. And in my defense, it did take two different attempts at setting this up. I had made a budget and had to delete the entire thing. Wasted probably an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back the drama. I wasted time setting up a budget, and it wasn't done correctly, so I had to delete it and do it again. And it did feel like a waste of my time, but that was the investment I had to make to utilize that platform.
[00:12:31] So I also have to address the budget every single day. And who has time for that? Like, I totally had the story. I don't have time for this. I definitely had the story. I don't enjoy it. Looking at money and money that I need and that isn't there presently stresses me out. No, I don't enjoy that. Not buying makeup or some random gadget or the latest greatest face cleansing system. Also not fun. Wanting something and not allowing myself to get it. Not fun. Not fun at all. And then of course, I totally had this story. It's not a problem right now. There's plenty of money right now. Kids aren't even in school yet. It's fine. Why do I have to do this now?
[00:13:16] Friend, I am the same as you. I resist the discomfort of the change.
[00:13:23] The human animal excuse. Discomfort. Excuse is such a fun word. We avoid it at all costs. We avoid discomfort like the plague. And change is uncomfortable. And since we want to avoid discomfort or being uncomfortable at all costs, we avoid the change.
[00:13:44] This drive of the human being to avoid discomfort and change is why we have. I mean, this creates the block to the thing we need to do. The thing we need to do is different from the thing we have been doing. And that's change. And it's uncomfortable. And this creates the block.
[00:14:05] So if you're not sure if you're avoiding the discomfort, you're like, yeah, no, I don't think I'm avoiding the change. It's something else. That's fine.
[00:14:13] If you're telling your. If you're not telling yourself, it's like the story, it's too hard or it takes too much time or it's not enjoyable or it's not a problem right now. These are not your stories. Then I want to ask you the question, how does the story. I know what to do but struggle to get it done? How does it serve you?
[00:14:32] Dealing with the reasons that you are continuing to make the decision is part of the solution.
[00:14:39] And you need to ask yourself that question. Why is it a struggle? Why is it serving me to not do the thing to not make the change? How are you benefiting from it? And your brain is going to many. When I ask clients this frequently, what I hear is, oh, well, I don't benefit from it. There's nothing good coming from it, my friend. If this was the case, if this was true, you wouldn't be struggling to do this. And I want to offer the example. If you burn your hand on a hot stove, you know what to do and you don't struggle to do it because there's no benefit to continuing to burn your hand.
[00:15:18] There is. The benefit that keeps you struggling is what keeps you struggling, right? If there is no benefit to doing the thing, you don't struggle to stop doing the thing. There is no benefit to burning your hand. So you don't struggle to stop burning your hand.
[00:15:34] There is some benefit you're gleaning by not changing your habits to get the result you want. There's some benefit you're gleaning or you would not be struggling to stop the habits or to change the habits. It's that simple. So what is the benefit that you're getting by not changing your diet or your exercise habits?
[00:15:57] It's really easy to keep doing the things that you've always done, right? Like maybe the benefit is ease.
[00:16:05] It's very easy to do the things you've always done. It's well practiced and therefore quick to do the things you've always done.
[00:16:14] The food choices that you want to change, like the. The action of eating X food that's causing the problem is easier for you because you practice doing that thing. For years, you did not become diabetic by eating a single piece of chocolate cake or by overeating occasionally or by missing exercise once a week. Your biology did not become sick by the things that you did occasionally. Your biology became sick by the things that you do a lot. And there's another word for something that you do a lot, and that's called practice.
[00:16:52] This is a, well, practice. The thing that you have been doing that's gotten you to this place with your health that you don't like, you've practiced repeatedly.
[00:17:02] So that may be it. It may be just the ease and the convenience of doing the things. That may be where the benefit is. It may be that you get to keep eating foods that you really like and you don't have to be uncomfortable by not eating the foods that you really like.
[00:17:17] It may be something entirely different.
[00:17:20] Maybe it's connection with friends and family and you realize, like the. The reason that I struggle to stop doing this is because I'm going to feel disconnected and out of touch and like there's nobody in my life and like I don't have any social outlet.
[00:17:37] So asking yourself, how do you benefit by not making the change? By struggling to make the change financially, like my budget example, There are a lot of things about I know what I need to do, but I'm just struggling to do it. That totally benefited me. Spending money was absolutely easier.
[00:17:57] It's easier to say yes to spending because I practiced it. Yes to coffee in the morning at the coffee shop, even though I have coffee at home that's already paid for, that I could just make.
[00:18:08] It's easier to say yes to a new black T shirt even though I have three in my closet. It's just more fun to say yes. It's easier to say yes to dinner out. It's easier to say yes to all the things. And it was well practiced, so it seemed easier.
[00:18:23] It was just on the tip of my tongue to say yes.
[00:18:28] Grabbing lunch at a restaurant is quick and there's no mess to clean up. It's way easier to keep buying things. It's fun. So I have. I don't have to sit in the desire and the wanting for a new pair of shoes or a new pair of jeans or, you know, whatever it might be, I don't have to want. I can just buy it, and that's more fun.
[00:18:51] These were the ways that it benefited me in the end. These are the issues that I had to fix in my budget to create what I wanted financially, I needed to realize that if I was going to stop spending money, right, my brain, I know what I need to do. I just need to stop spending and put more in savings.
[00:19:12] To stop spending money, I was going to have to cook more at home. And I had to solve for that part of the puzzle. If I was going to follow the budget and prepare for my kids to go to college, then I needed to find other ways to make eating at home easier, to make not shopping easier. And that looked like getting my laundry done. So dressing was easier in the morning.
[00:19:36] This is why I struggled to complete the task, to get the task done. These were the issues I had to solve if I was going to reach my financial goals.
[00:19:47] For me, I also had to find another way to have fun other than spending money.
[00:19:52] And I had to have the realization that these were the things I had to solve if I was going to achieve my financial goals.
[00:19:59] So as far as food goes, diabetics struggle to make changes because they aren't solving for the other issues. How do I learn to make it easy to not eat the foods that make me diabetic? How do I learn to make it quick to eat something else other than the quick foods that make me diabetic? I mean, think fast food. It's in the name, right? Like, how do I solve for that. How do I make it enjoyable? How do I make foods that I enjoy that don't make me diabetic versus continuing to eat the foods I do enjoy that do make me diabetic? And then how do I stop believing that? Because I'm not requiring more meds. I'm not requiring specialist visits, I'm not requiring procedures. I haven't had a stroke or a heart attack. How do I stop believing that I'm okay? Because those things haven't happened yet.
[00:20:51] I always remind clients and potential clients and this, I remind patients of this on a regular basis. By the time those things have happened, that ship has sailed.
[00:21:02] You have missed the opportunity to fix the issue.
[00:21:05] If you have a stroke and you can't use the left side of your body, we can't undo that. If you have a heart attack and you lose a portion of the function of your heart, we can't get that back. Your opportunity to impact that outcome is today, not after it's happened.
[00:21:27] It's like believing everything's fine until my kids can't go to college or I can't pay my electricity because I sent my kids to college. You have to take the opportunity to fix the issue before it happens. I even think that that example with the finances is not great. It's more like, oh, I had to file bankruptcy. Like, once the bankruptcy is filed, I can't unfile it and I can't undo the damage it does to your financial well being.
[00:21:53] Once a heart attack or a stroke happens, you cannot undo the negative consequences that that has on your health.
[00:22:02] So don't miss the opportunity to fix what needs to be fixed.
[00:22:06] Solve for the actual issue. You know, eating chocolate cake's a problem, but you're struggling to figure out why you keep eating it. I say this in the intro. You know, you need to eat differently, exercise differently, live differently, Maybe different foods, maybe less foods, maybe add exercise. It's not a question of what needs to be done. You've got a lot of ideas.
[00:22:28] Your answer is in solving for why you're struggling to do it. And you're struggling because it's not easy, because it's too long. Who's got time for that? It's not fun, I don't enjoy it. It's not a problem. Yet. Those are the issues that need to be solved. You may know you need to not eat those foods, but while you continue to do it, you need to figure out where it's serving you, because that's why you're continuing to do It.
[00:22:57] The second reason that people struggle to make changes is because they're not getting granular with what they need to do.
[00:23:06] They are underestimating the. What it takes to do the action that needs to be taken. You may know you need to not eat pizza for dinner or not eat chocolate in the afternoon, and you plan to do it every day, but you struggle in the implementation.
[00:23:23] So what do we do here? There's a psychologist, and she's an author. Her name's Laura or Laurie Gottlieb. And she has a book that says, you should talk to somebody about that. I think that's the name of her book, but she's got a couple books. She has a column in the Atlantic, or it's actually in the New York Times now. But she, you know, takes questions, and she has that twice a week. So she's an author and a psychologist. But she says, if you are having a hard time making changes, break it down into smaller steps.
[00:23:53] I call this breaking it down into smaller steps. I call it getting granular with your action. Break down the task into smaller steps and start doing those. Start planning for those steps.
[00:24:06] I need to stop spending money and put more in savings. That was not granular enough for me. I had to break it down. Like, I could not even start doing those things because I wasn't breaking it down into smaller steps. I. I need to make coffee at home and not go out every day for coffee. I need to eat out less and not go to the, you know, restaurants for lunch. I need to stop buying makeup and hair products and just use the stuff I had. That was getting granular for me.
[00:24:36] I had to start doing those things, the other things with my budget. You know, again, I know what I need to do that, you know, I just needed to stop spending money and put it into savings.
[00:24:51] What actually led to my change was looking at where I was spending my money and how do I do that part different? How do I spend my money different? My spending, my eating out, my clothes, my hair, my face care. When I broke down my spending habits from that general story of stop spending and save more mantra, I realized that I needed to start cooking more at home, and that meant I need to do more grocery shopping. And that meant on Sunday afternoons when I'm hanging out with my brother, I probably needed to cut that an hour short so I could go by the grocery store and go shopping.
[00:25:25] That solution was not available to me when I was just telling myself to stop spending and save more. It was more than stop spending and save. There was A lot more that needed to be addressed. My struggle laid in the not addressing those other things. That's why I struggled.
[00:25:42] If you're wanting to stop eating pizza, your solution is going to be similar. Finding the time to plan another food, finding the time to prep it, finding other things to eat at your typical restaurants when you go there, the food, you know, finding something to eat that doesn't make you diabetic, it's going to be grocery shopping, food prepping, reviewing restaurant menus. This isn't even taking into consideration what it would take to add exercise or implement exercise into your routine.
[00:26:11] These are the reasons that we struggle to do the things. These are the parts of the puzzles that you have to solve for.
[00:26:19] So the reason that we avoid both the.
[00:26:23] The determining, right, the figuring out, the asking ourselves the hard question, why am I doing this? Why am I getting benefited? And then how do I create benefit in a way that doesn't involve this thing that I'm trying to stop doing? The reason we avoid that question and the reason that we avoid breaking it down and doing it in these small steps is because typically we are very resistant to being uncomfortable.
[00:26:49] I recently read a book and I read, I finished it a couple weeks ago and really this podcast has been brewing from my time with that book.
[00:26:59] But I highly recommend this book if you need help talking yourself into doing the hard things, the uncomfortable things. This book is called the Comfort Crisis. It's by Michael Easter, E a S T e r like the upcoming holiday. And it talks about as humans, as a species and kind of as a society, we're really de evolving due to our biological, like our hardwired resistance to doing uncomfortable things.
[00:27:29] We have moved into this modern age where life is very, very comfortable. And in turn, we are very resistant to being uncomfortable. And that resistance is a hardwired thing in the human brain. It's not that you're broken. It's not that I'm broken. We're all perfectly human. We're like these human creatures with all of the good and badness that comes with being human. But one of the things that we have to overcome is our resistance to being uncomfortable. Our current modern living is a little too comfortable. Certainly we're seeing this in type 2 diabetes, right? Our interest in food being easy, our interest in food being quick, our interest in food being super enjoyable, right? We talk about hyper palatable food. Hyper palatable food is food that we enjoy probably a little too much.
[00:28:17] All of these things are leading to diabetes and insulin resistance and that epidemic that we're experiencing in the modern world.
[00:28:25] Even the resistance to breaking things down into smaller steps, right? That leads to it's hard. It takes time. It's not fun. Those steps seem like minutia and we avoid that because it's not as interesting. It's like, not as fun and boring.
[00:28:44] Seems unpleasant to the human being. So I want to encourage you, I highly recommend that book and I want to encourage you to lean into the resistance that you're experiencing.
[00:28:56] The answer may be in leaning into the things that are hard.
[00:29:02] The answer is likely leaning into the specifics of those actions that you need to be taking.
[00:29:10] You will find out in that why you're struggling to complete the task. Breaking it down into steps. And if you can't, you know, if you do it for a week, you're like, I did break it down and I'm doing it. It's not working. I want you to break it down farther. I've heard the example from another coach who I really love and is wonderful, and she talks about, you know, if your plan is to go to the gym in the morning and a week has gone by and you haven't gone, you need to start breaking down what the morning looks like. I wake up at this hour, my shoes are on by this time, my clothes are on by this time, I have car keys in my hand by this time, and I am in the car driving to the gym by this time. Break it down. Get granular.
[00:29:54] This is going to be your strategy going forward to accomplish the goals that you have. I seriously want you to try this out. I want to hear how it goes. So always never hesitate to send me updates, to send me questions. You can always email me delaneelainemd.com I love hearing from you. Lastly, I have an ask if you've been finding benefits from this podcast, please rate and review the podcast on your podcast player. The more ratings and reviews a podcast gets, the more the podcast players present it to new people. You can also share it with your friends on social media if you think they might find it helpful. But recognize that insulin resistance or prediabetes affects 9 out of 10Americans. This podcast is dedicated to letting people know you do not have to be sick for the rest of your life. You not do not have to be reliant on the medical system in America. It is possible to be healthy. Help me get that word out.
[00:30:50] People need to hear this.
[00:30:53] Lastly, I want you to keep listening. Keep avoiding the foods that are making you sick and keep making the choices for your health, your vitality and your longevity. I'll be back next week.
